Nice to meet you: mom of three, entrepreneur, legal consultant, and 32 years old. That is how I usually introduce myself. It is my entire identity. This is who I am.
Or is it?
In the chaos of daily life, my brain is constantly overflowing. My thoughts never stop; my mind is running a rat race all on its own. Caring for three young children, managing a demanding job, keeping a household running… add seasonal depression, anxiety, and panic attacks to the mix, and you know just how full my head is.
My escape route? Scrolling. Shopping. The feeling the moment I clicked ‘order’ was always the same: a quick dopamine rush, a temporary fix for my lack of peace, and a way to numb the stress and exhaustion. The reality afterward? A more cluttered home, an empty wallet, debt, and even more restlessness in my head.
The illusion and the blow
In September 2025, something shifted in my mind: I had to stop spending money and start living more simply. Full of hope, I began analyzing our budgets. I had actually been budgeting for a long time, but what is the use of a budget if you overspend every single month and keep making up new excuses?
I started working with a new budget, but the workload and stress didn’t change. On the contrary. Because I believed a simpler life started with an organized home, I began decluttering like crazy. That created physical space, but that empty space only triggered my urge to fill it again. Fast forward to late October: the holidays were around the corner, and I let go of all restraint. My children received a mountain of Christmas gifts that would make your head spin.
Then came January
During the first week of the new year, I woke up at 3:00 AM. I checked my email—don’t ask me why—and there they were: our taxes. Amount due: 13,000 euros.
I felt my heart pounding in my chest. Where on earth am I going to get this money? Both of my credit cards were maxed out at 1,200 euros. I had 0 euros in my savings account, and absolutely no reserves in my business account. In a state of pure panic, I applied for a 30,000-euro business credit line, paid the taxes, and accumulated a massive debt overnight.
Breaking point
If you think this woke me up, you are wrong. As soon as money hit the account again, it was divided and spent just as quickly. It wasn’t until a few months ago, when I accumulated an extra business debt of 2,500 euros, that I finally dared to face the truth: I have an addiction. And something has to change.
One morning, when I was home alone, I sat down at the table with a cup of coffee, a notepad, and a pen. I asked myself three questions:
- What do I want to make of my life?
- How can I achieve this?
- What goals do I want to achieve by this time next year?
I want to share my answers with you, because these are the driving force behind this blog.
What do I want to make of my life?
Through motherhood and the busyness of everyday life, I have lost myself piece by piece. There’s no one to blame for that: not my husband, my children, or myself. You simply prioritize other things, put everyone else’s needs first, and before you know it, you are living purely at the service of your family and your job. By the evening, you only have just enough energy left to mindlessly scroll. That was my reality.
Combined with a mountain of childhood trauma that left me with deep anxiety and depression, I decided: it’s time for a radical change.
- I want to find myself again. What do I love doing, where do I find peace and joy outside of being a mom and an entrepreneur?
- I want financial peace of mind for our family and our children.
- I want to live more consciously and slow down.
How do I achieve these goals?
My notepad was full, but the core was clear. I am starting with three radical decisions:
- Working less: Someone in debt who decides to work less? I know… But as a freelancer in a niche business, I can charge decent rates. My calculations showed that even with half my income, I still have a good budget left over and can pay off my debts, provided I manage the money and don’t spend it. The time that frees up will allow me to space out the household chores (because as a perfectionist, I don’t outsource anything), find peace, and be truly present for my family on weekends.
- A realistic budget: one where every single euro has a purpose, including ‘fun money’ and room to pay off and avoid debt.
- Conscious living: Decluttering our home, to offer our children a calm environment, and to no longer be drowning in the sea of consumerism.
This time next year, I want to
- Have a solid financial buffer on our shared account and on my personal account.
- Have fully paid off my credit cards
- Be able to start actively and structurally reducing my large business debt.
- Truly feel good in my own skin again.
- Pass my time with writing and reading instead of scrolling and shopping.
Welcome to my journey. Completely anonymous, fully exposed, with all its ups and downs. Starting to write again is the very first step toward my recovery. A first step toward finding the person behind my current identity, the person behind the depression and anxiety. Writing is a talent I inherited from my sweet mom, who unfortunately passed away much too soon, and I can think of no better purpose for her legacy than writing my way to freedom, writing my way to calm.
Love,
Mrs. C
THE WRITING EDIT 
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