THE WRITING EDIT

Here we go again… a new month, a new budget, and a fresh dose of courage to make it work. Except, it turns out that reality is far more stubborn than theory. Yes, I know exactly how much money comes in. Yes, I know down to the cent what should be spent. I can map it all out perfectly in my spreadsheet. But making the plan isn’t the hard part.

The hardest part is staying on course. It’s daring to say ‘no’ to yourself the moment you feel that familiar urge to click ‘order’. It’s holding back, restraining yourself from driving to the store for something you’ve convinced yourself you ‘need’, when you actually don’t.

If I’m being completely honest: I’ve been working with this budget for a few months now, and I am trying so hard. But progress takes time. And effort. Mostly, an immense amount of effort.

The Truth in the Numbers

Looking back critically, last month was actually our best month so far. The progress is real. But I have to look the truth in the eye: we still went over budget, and it was entirely avoidable. On the positive side? My credit card is no longer maxed out, and I can comfortably cover all necessary payments for the upcoming month without any issues.

So, what do you do with that knowledge? The solution is simple, though admittedly a bit boring: you analyze your spending.

When I analyze the numbers, I see two major bottlenecks. First, I spent way too much money on groceries by doing one massive bulk shop at the start of the month. Second, I set my budget way too tight. There was barely any room for ‘fun money’, and I hadn’t factored in a single buffer for unexpected costs.

So… we start over. Like I wrote before, this is a journey. My goal isn’t to hand you a flawless, ready-made blueprint—at least, not yet. I still stumble too often for that.

What I do mean by starting over, is that we are going to redesign the budget. A realistic budget: with room for fixed expenses and weekly groceries, but equally for unexpected costs and family outings. On top of that, we are going to take a very critical look at the way we shop for food.

It might sound like a small, limited intervention, but it’s a crucial first step. A step that can easily save us a few hundred euros a month.

A Realistic Budget

Everyone has fixed expenses. In our case, it’s our mortgage, utilities, insurance, the car loan, the kids’ school fees, internet, TV, and our streaming services. Yes, we are consciously keeping that last category; we use them a lot and they offer us a moment of relaxation.

The problem these past few months lays in the categories I had completely overlooked. For instance, we were suddenly hit with an early heatwave, but the children turned out to have completely outgrown all their summer clothes and shoes. They simply needed them, so I bought them. But because there was no room in our tight household budget, the bill landed on my credit card.

My kitchen mixer broke… put it on the credit card. The kids unexpectedly had a number of birthday parties for classmates… sure enough, credit card. With every single transaction, I felt my heart sink. “See, I can’t do this,” that tiny voice in my head whispered. When I got back into the car after paying and started the engine, a heavy, cold anxiety flooded my chest. The fear that this was the beginning of the end. That I would fall back into my old, destructive habits and lose all control again. Fortunately, the unforeseen costs ended there this time, but they add up mercilessly fast. The result? I am currently looking at a €900 credit card debt again. A bitter pill to swallow, though luckily, this time, I can pay it off in full at the end of this month.

We also went on a few family outings. For anyone who doesn’t know: even a seemingly free walk with three kids costs money rather quickly. No matter how well I tried to anticipate by bringing our own drinks and snacks; if you unexpectedly stumble into a cozy village festival, you are going to spend money sooner or later.

For the upcoming month, I have reserved a realistic budget for outings and unforeseen expenses. Summer is just around the corner, and I want to give my children memories and beautiful experiences. We don’t want to completely strip that away, but we aren’t going over board anymore either.

The Art of Food Shopping

I am an extremely organized person, but I have a deep, profound hatred for supermarkets. I simply do not like to be among crowds of people. The intense busyness, the bright lights, the feeling that everyone is blocking my way or staring at me—within no time, I get hopelessly overwhelmed. Every minute in a store is an energy drain, and I only breathe a sigh of relief when I walk out the sliding doors with my cart, into the fresh air outside.

That hatred for shopping led me to do one massive bulk buy once a month. Fast, efficient, and then not having to face the confrontation for four weeks. I created an extensive monthly menu, listed everything, and stocked up heavily—at least on everything that wouldn’t spoil immediately.

The hard realization now? At least once a week, after a busy day, I am simply too exhausted to cook. On top of that, I always bought way too much and unconsciously brought home clutter food that ended up being ignored by everyone. The perfect proof lies in my pantry: a package of waffles that has been sitting half-open for three weeks now, probably rock-hard by now.

So… we are going to handle this differently from now on:

• No more monthly bulk shopping. Despite the overstimulation, I am forcing myself to do a larger grocery run twice a month. This allows me to better evaluate what we actually still have in the house, which will benefit both waste prevention and our budget.
• A realistic weekly plan instead of a monthly one. I will factor the days I know I won’t have the energy to cook directly into the calendar. On those evenings, we consciously plan a simple meal (read: frozen pizza).
• Only bringing home what actually gets eaten. From now on, I am going to ask the kids and my husband at the start of the week which specific treat they want. Is their choice gone halfway through the week? Then it’s gone. It stays gone until the next shopping trip. This keeps the budget intact, prevents food waste, and introduces a playful way for the kids to learn that a budget is finite.

Small Victories

When I look at the balance sheet, I’ve actually been doing quite well in terms of self-control over the past few weeks. I applied a few mental tricks: for example, I consciously left my credit card at home when I had to run to the store for a necessity. I also spent the last week and a half of the month strictly ‘shelf-cooking’—cooking with whatever was left in the cabinets (except for fresh fruits and veggies of course). This prevented us from stretching our grocery budget (which was already practically gone halfway through the month) any further.

And online shopping? That has been completely stagnant. I managed to simply ignore the tempting shopping apps on my phone. It might not be the most fundamental method of self-control yet, but for now, it worked.

Analyzing these numbers and confronting my mistakes is painful. It sometimes feels tedious, rigid, and dry. But I notice that opening my spreadsheet and writing down these raw truths gives me something I had lost for a long time: control. And with that control, very slowly, peace returns. This is how I manage the chaos. Step by step, month after month, I am writing my way to calm.

Love, Mrs. C